Why Can’t We Communicate?

posted in: Blog, Mental Health, Relationships | 0

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If you and your partner are not communicating, then you are at maximum risk of having a serious relationship problem! You should consider marriage counseling / couples counseling.

Does it seem that you are the only one working on the relationship and have been taken for granted? Is it impossible to have a civil conversation with your spouse without the conversation turning into an argument? When having an argument, is everything that you have done (in your spouses’ eyes) thrown up in your face? Okay, here is the big one, do these arguments happen in the presence of your children?

You are not alone in these circumstance. Trust is the key to a successful marriage because intimacy (not just sex) is very difficult when you are unsure of your spouse. The pain of a hurting relationship can disable or distract you from your job, your family, and your life. No one likes to have a list of mistakes constantly repeated and used to hurt you!

Most couples fear that they may be “sleeping with the enemy” when trust is difficult. Your home and your family are your retreat from the world into a loving and safe environment. This is important for you to have, but for many, it is not the case. Betrayed trust is the problem.

Situations where there has been sexual infidelity, financial infidelity, or any other scenario where the bond of trust has been fractured or broken are the most common causes of loss of trust. It is important to understand that even in the most serious fidelity scenarios, there is hope.

So, are we destined for divorce court?

Not likely if you get help now. There are several approaches to these situations that can heal the heart, and rebuild trust.

What you are going through is serious and I know it hurts, but it is not unusual to feel as if your situation is hopeless. The truth is that it is not hopeless, and it is something that millions of people go through. There is hope! Don’t Give Up!

Okay, So How Can You Help Me?

Is your relationship a committed one? Have the love between you and your partner seem to be quickly fading? With my help you can:

  • Define the roles each of you play in the relationship
  • Learn how to assume good will to build trust
  • Begin communicating in a manner that is healthy and loving
  • Start enjoying each other by accepting your spouse / partner as they are, and begin to appreciate differences as opposed to focus on them
  • Work through past traumas as a result of being hurt and carrying resentment.
  • Communicate your needs instead of assuming or expecting that your spouse knows what needs that you need met.

I Think I May Need 1 on 1 Therapy Before We Both Come In.

It is common for this to be the case with couples. After all, the relationship is made up of two individuals. Just as a machine runs poorly with broken parts, so does the relationship.

It is the goal of therapy to help you. 1 on 1 therapy easily transforms into couples counseling if this is what you feel that you need. If you are having trouble functioning because of your relationship problems, then contact me now. There is no reason for you to suffer alone.

If 1 on 1 therapy is something we need to do, you can be comforted by knowing that things you would like to remain confidential will not be shared.

It’s Possible That You Would Want to Come In and Realize That You Are The Only Motivated Person in The Relationship.

Yes, I know it is difficult when you are the only one willing to put the time and work toward fixing your relationship, but it can be done. I believe that if you can’t control your partner’s behavior, you can manage it.

Relationships is an area that I am uniquely suited to because of my business management experience (after all, there are many relationship problems in the workplace).

So, What Should My Relationship Look Like When Therapy Is Successful?

First of all, make sure that your expectations are realistic. No relationship is 100% puppies and candy, but a ratio of good verses not so much should be about 80/20. Just picture yourself in a relationship that is effortless, loving, and caring 80% of the time. This is achievable!

  • Your relationship could be one of:
  • Unconditional Love
  • Total assumption of good will (this is a biggie)
  • Warmth and safety
  • Mutual support
  • Satisfying intimacy

This is within your reach if you are willing to take the necessary steps to fix a broken relationship and start on a fresh, clean, new canvas to paint your new relationship.

Been There, Done That, We Are Done!

Okay, well let’s make sure that the collateral damage is minimized….The Children. I can help you to direct your parenting skills, your love, and your caring toward your children to mitigate the trauma that will ensue. You have a bond between you and your partner, even if you are divorced, and a responsibility that you share. You may as well make the interaction between you civil at least, friendly at best.

There are many techniques that we can work on together so that the children:

  • Know they are loved
  • Know that they will always have both parents in their lives
  • Feel as secure as possible before, during, and after a marriage break down
  • Are included in the discussions and not feel lied to
  • Are ABSOLUTELY NOT THE CAUSE OF THE PROBLEMS IN THE MARRIAGE.
    If you need to talk to someone, please contact me!

louLou Carfizzi
loucarfizzi@yahoo.com
www.lifecarecounseling.net

Need a one-on-one with Lou?
Go to www.lifecarecounseling.net and schedule an online therapy session.